How about a discussion on what you would like to see change in blogging?
I know what I would like to see is no pay pal buttons allowed. One of the things that bothers me the most is the begging for money on blogs. It just seems no different from standing on the street corner with the cardboard sign....
So...what do you think?
101 comments:
Less children in underwear would be nice. And yeah, the beg button.
Having "fan pages" on facebook! Really ladies? Get over yourselves......
Smecky:
I agree...
I've been behind in my blog reading and decided to catch up today and when I went to Kelle Hampton's blog she once again has pictures of the older child in her underwear at a Public Place cause she forgot a bathing suit...really!
When did it become OK to strip down in public just because we forgot a bathing suit...here's a thought...go buy one, or buy a t-shirt and let her play in that and you can put their clothes back on them to go home...really shame on these mothers who aren't protecting their childs modesty.
anon 9:07
Yes FAN pages on FB for bloggers is so silly!
Another for me is the new formats on some blogs that you have to click to continue reading.
I know why they do it...but I don't like it. Not because of the click but because it takes more time if I am trying to catch up and I try to read more than one post on a blog..lots of clicking.
I did notice a popular mommy blogger (who got popular when preg. with her sick son who died shortly after birth) who happens to be expecting twins now...she found a new way to get you to have to click...she formatted her blog so that only one post shows up on the page. At the bottom of the page she added lots of verbage and a big picture. Only one post fits on the page. Interesting...
Lauren - I am one of those rare people who enjoy reading Kelle's blog. I guess it's because I am not much a writer and I like the way she "weaves" words together and forms this great image in my mind. I even don't get too riled up at small children (as in baby small) in the buff. But OMG who in their right mind would let their child that old go in
their underwear at a public place?
As far as what I would like to see (I assume you are asking a general question and not particular to THIS blog)I just don't care what people choose to put on their own space. I just
skim over what I don't want to see/read with no problem.
Carmen
I hope no one is having a stroke because you and I are agreeing on something, Lauren. :) Kelle was exactly who I was thinking of when I wrote that. Couple more off the top of my head...MckMama and Pioneer Woman.
I hate the click thing as well. That and the way some blogs are broken up into many small blogs. I think PW does that the best (worst?). You have to go the site (click), then you have to click the category/blog you want to read (click), then you have to click the post to read the whole thing (click). Not sure which is more annoying, mini blogs or the one post thing you mentioned.
Smecky:
Let's hope our example can show others you can have a different opinion and still agree sometimes and most important not to hold grudges...just because you and I disagreed about something doesn't mean we have to take it personal...
I agree also about enjoying Kelle's blog..love her photographs...just don't like all the nudity.
Carmen...
I agree..
I was thinking, I wonder what others at the splash park thought? You know I sometimes think some of the moms aren't thinking clearly with their decisions.
Kinda like she said what she did with the Gorilla mask and scared the little girl and then felt bad...I think often times these moms just do something without thinking about how this might look, how this might impact others(her daughter)...etc.
"That and the way some blogs are broken up into many small blogs. I think PW does that the best (worst?). You have to go the site (click), then you have to click the category/blog you want to read (click), then you have to click the post to read the whole thing (click). Not sure which is more annoying, mini blogs or the one post thing you mentioned."
THAT! I refuse to read a blog if it is set up like that.
I also agree with the naked kids, disgusting.
Batman
I've got to say, I don't mind Paypal buttons for certain things and *only when they are for someone else. Having a Paypal button on your blog to get donations for yourself is just tacky. But if someone has a button to raise funds for a family who lost everything in a fire, for example, I'm fine with it.
One thing that irks the crap out of me is slashed out words and phrases. Say what you mean and stop being coy.
The semi-naked/naked kid thing is another.
Agreed on the "continued after the jump" click thing, too.
Lastly are mothers who insist on identifying their children by their disabilities over in the sidebar.
Joey, 12: ADD, ADHD, ODD, OCD and lactose intolerant.
Samantha, 11: OCD, full-body Excema, early-onset puberty.
Kyle, 8: ADHD, lactose intolerant, prone to body fungus.
Miracle Baby Mason: Born at 25 weeks after 43 rounds of IVF. Strabismus, lactose intolerant, Hermaphrodite.
This makes me *insane.
Oh, and photographs of dead babies...just *no. That's something that really needs to be kept personal and sacred, imo.
Lisa- please don't tell me you have actually seen a blog with a dead baby pic? OMG
Carmen
Lisa:
I am laughing about the descriptions. I guess some feel the need to identify all this to gain attention? Talk about over-share! LOL
I do agree about the pay pal for someone else and for a need or emergency. I just see so many who have the Pay Pal buttons and put things like.."We have lots of medical bills and would love your help. Please donate." or "We are adopting and we need X amount of money"...
I believe we all at one time or another have had medical bills...my thoughts are..if you have insurance you are only out of pocket a certain amount. If you don't have insurance you are receiving assistance and why do you need a pay pal donation button? If your child is sick with cancer you are already receiving other services offered with hospitals like assistance in housing (if having to go out of town), gas help, meals etc. I guess I just feel it is tacky...have a fund raiser, have a garage sale...just begging for money via blog seems wrong...
The following are my opinions and I know others may feel different about it.
I also noticed many bloggers HINT at things...like one blogger I read (she posts on MWOP) is always hinting about things on her blog..car trouble, bad hospital food etc. etc. yet is very vocal about Mckmama and the way she is looking for a pity party. Makes you wonder if people who talk smack about others bother to read their own words???
Carmen:
I have seen the dead baby pictures and I NEVER return to that blog...period!
I've actually seen way more dead children on blogs and wonder if people realize how offended others feel about this?
I have another thing in blogs I dislike...
Black background with colored print...kills my eyes.
Also small font.
Yes, I second the NO on dead baby photos. Thats just wrong & I'm sad to say I've seen my fair share!
Batman:
I agree...not sure why they use that format but I don't like it either.
Another thing is the over the top medical stuff...
I don't need to hear about your nasty draining sores or how infected your incision is with pictures attached....yuck! It's fine to talk about your life and what is going on just some should remember to have some self respect. Don't be so graphic...
Carmen, there are lots of blogs out there with dead baby pictures. Patrice Williams comes immediately to mind. Now, I'll own I like Patice's blog...she stays honest but positive and seems very, very sweet but over there in her sidebar is a picture of her dead baby and it just bugs the life out of m, pardon my pun.
""We are adopting and we need X amount of money"..."
Yep, donations for adoptions are irksome. I'm not going to help you buy yourself a baby, sorry.
"If you don't have insurance you are receiving assistance and why do you need a pay pal donation button?"
In fairness, there are a *lot of people out there who don't have insurance and also don't qualify for medical assistance, although most all states will cover children. It's the adults that will have to do without. But I get your point...we all have stuff going on. It's called life.
Tiny font is terrible, same with colored fonts on black backgrounds. It makes me go cross eyed! lol
Batman
"I've actually seen way more dead children on blogs and wonder if people realize how offended others feel about this?"
I'm not so much offended as amazed they don't realize that some people are *not going to give that picture the dignity and respect that dead baby deserves.
Another one - sex lives. I am not interested and do not want to hear it. Really. That should be private, like dead baby pictures. A little insinuating joke here or there is fine, but I don't want to know about sex toys, positions, organ sizes, etc. Don't they realize that their kids and their friends will some day read about all this? Ugh.
I can't stand when any blogger is asking for money. If they want to make money, get ads, or make things and get an Etsy shop, write a book even, but I will not pay to read someone's online journal.
I think asking for helping raising adoption money for places such as Reeses Rainbow is ok. A lot of people can not come up with a minimum of $50k up front. I can understand that if someone wants to adopt a baby they should be able to pay for it, but in the real world, who the hell has a spare $50k laying around?
Batman
Now sex lives, I agree with. TMI!
Batman,
Nobody helped me pay for bringing my own babies into my family. I think they should pay their own way on that one.
I ignore PayPal buttons but not enough to complain about it. I don't read any blog that begs for money. I have seen a few blogs with a PayPal button to help support the site (and it is a good, informative site). Still, not enough to complain.
As to blogs where you have to click different categories...these are magazine type blogs and that's the way they are formatted.
I think people have to get over the fact that some people do make money by blogging. Don't hate everyone because they're able to do so. If you like the content, then go ahead and read. If not, then don't bother.
On the same vein, if you don't like the content, leave without complaining. So much more positive things to do than complain.
Maybe change this into : What do you like in the blog world? Is there anything you ladies LIKE?
Also, for Facebook likes...sorry, but that's the state of social media these days. I click if I have made a connection to the blog publisher.
Can we please stop complaining?
Anon 12:51, Tina *asked about what we'd like to see changed, what we didn't like and we were answering her. It's not like this was a random bitchfest that bloomed out of our asses. She may well ask what we do like next...who knows? There's a lot I do like and hope she does. :-)
Also, I have no issues with people making money off their blogs. Some, I read. Some I don't but it has nothing to do with whether they profit by my decision or not if I can read with a single click. What I don't like are the games we mentioned above that create the need for additional clicks. That leads me to believe this blogger will do or say anything to make money and I tend to not go back. Easy-peasy.
And see, now you just make me want to complain some more. :-P
Batman, there are ways of adopting babies that don't require $50,000. But a baby is like many other things in life, a non-necessity. A living non-necessity, granted, but still a non-necessity. If you want to buy one and can't pay cash or get a loan for it, then do without until you can, I think.
I have noticed and heard of people who have healthy wonderful children but focus on the lack of more. Now I am not talking about sites like caringbridge sites I'm talking about blogs where the focus is all about the child lost or how the ivf isn't working even though there are other healthy children who get no mention. It makes my heart hurt wondering if that is how life is for them in life.
Shannon:
I know I read some like that also...makes me feel like saying be grateful for what you have!
I know I at one time followed a blog of someone trying to have a baby...yea I do know what that feels like. I don't want to give many details cause I'm not trying to call her out...just the pity party became more than I cared to read about.
I agree about the sex info...TMI. I swear I read a blog at one time and I stopped reading cause I thought ..would I be IRL friends with someone like this...the answer was no. The woman was a slut...either that or she was lying cause the 6 months I read her blog she slept with tons of different men..It was like a revolving door and I knew it went against my morals. Sorry I don't care to read how you go out and pick up men and have them sleeping over on the first encounter. All the while writing about how you love your ex boyfriend???? Some of her stories seemed a little odd I will say and I think she liked the attention she gained from her readers..of course this is my opinion and I know others may not agree.
Lauren, That's why I stopped reading SIF...
Lisa, I never looked at it like that. I just talked to my hubs about it and he agrees with you.
Batman
I would like to see less self righteous comments, those who are intolerant of others who do things differently. I'm not talking about your basic disagreement or difference but down right intolerance.
Oh and I'm with everyone on the sex info, tmi.
I meant to add to my comment but hit reply first.
I get not agreeing with someone, but if you don't agree with them, why are you reading their blog and following along? I have stopped reading numerous blogs because I couldn't handle the content for one reason or the other. PW is one of them, I use to read her every post, now I can barely read it once a week. It's gone way downhill, imo.
I find the playlist on blogs to be very annoying. If you forget to turn the volume off on your computer, you have to scroll all the way down the page just to turn it off, then you have to scroll all the way back up to read the blog.
Anonwalker,
I was going in the exact opposite direction. Blogs that don't allow any kind of dissenting comments (done respectfully and politely, of course).
The whole 'if you don't have anything nice to say, use the littlei red x' is what causes drops in followers and ultmately sites like MWoP, IMO.
Criticism hurts, yes, especially in written form coming from anons (no matter how nice the user name of the commentor). But you can't expect to be creating ad revenues with followers and disallow them at the same time to only be invested in your life (via your blog) to the extend of supporting your every decision.
If you blog freely about intimate aspects of your life, prepare yourself for advice from strangers on dating a widower of 2 month with 4 children / leaving your preemies in the NICU in TX, fighting for their lifes while you're off to Disneyland in FL / getting pregnant for the second time from your ex-husband who left you for somebody else after your 4th child...
Ultimately the blogger controls the amount of controversy by sharing exactly those details and bloggers whose 'comment' button should really read 'a$$kissing' will be left with dwindling amounts of readers and frustrated former followers who will wonder if they're really the only ones questioning the blogger's take on certain things. Voila - XWoP is born.
Also, most of the above, dead kids, underdressed kids, underfinanced future endeavors. The clicking seperate links I don't mind. I prefer 15-20 posts with a decent preview that I have to click to the standard 4/5 entries per page where I have to navigate via older posts link.
The playlist!!! I forgot about that one - that
is a hugely annoying.
Carmen
Ok, my post disappeared again. This is getting annoying.
Anonwalker,
I was going in the exact opposite direction. Blogs that don't allow any kind of dissenting comments (done respectfully and politely, of course.
The whole idea of 'if you don't have anything nice to say, use the little red x' is what's causing a drop in readers and ultimately sites like MWoP, IMO.
Bloggers can't really expect their followers to be invested enough in their lifes to come back everyday and at the same time not have any type of own opinion on certain matters. The blogger controls the level of controversial detail that is shared with the www.
So if you invite hords of strangers into the most intimate aspects of your life for ad revenues, please prepare yourself for advice on
- dating a widower of 2 month with 4 kids who is twice your age
- leaving your preemies in the TX NICU, fighting for their lifes, while you're off to Disneyland in FL
- getting pregnant for the second time by your ex-husband after he left you for somebody else after your 4th child
- preaching 'submission to your husband' who you had arrested for DV more than once
Criticism hurts, yes, especially when doled out by internet anons (no matter how nice the commentor's username). But if any comment that doesn't fall into category 'Congratulations, your life is so awesome, can I send you something?' gets deleted you're speeding up the birth of XWoP.
Other than that, most of what has been listed above. Dead kids, underdressed kids, underfinanced future endeavors, the playlist and its cousin the glittering slideshow that eats all my memory.
The clicking for further reading I don't mind. I prefer 20 posts per page with a decent preview to the standard 4/5 posts per page where I have to navigate via endless 'older posts' and then wait for the loading of a gazillion pics.
Anonwalker:
That is why I stopped reading the ones that bothered me. I never felt the need to tell the blog person I didn't like what they blogged about...I just never went back.
I've often wondered why many can't just do this with PW, Dooce or Mckmama? Maybe they are so involved and I notice many at MWOP defend it by saying they are trying to help others see her aawful ways (their words not mine) but really I think many have to make that decision for themselves.
Same with MWOP....I'm certainly not going to tell people they shouldn't go there...in fact I think if they just stayed there and didn't go to her FB, twitter or blog I would say it's fine to have a place to voice your opinion (of course as long as you didn't cross the line).
I also agree about the playlist...really dislike that!
Kate:
Not sure what happened to your post off to check the spam folder on blogger...
Kate:
Found your comment in the spam folder...sorry i just approved it as not being spam...not sure why blogger does this with some comments.
While I was away for the 4th of July I found some comments in the spam folder...I approved them and they are now posted under that thread...
Thanks, Lauren. Sorry for leaving a 500 lines post twice now...
Oh, and good point about the excuse that spewing vitriol is in order to help people see the light or change their awful ways. Everytime they mention that it churns my stomach.
Here is my perspective on the whole comments that may not be considered flowers and rainbows. I think that most times a reader of a blog will see a post or something and have a WTH moment. They post a question and get upset if they see that their simple question, which may have been rather innocent, has been either deleted or left up for the wolves to tear apart.
I also recognize that there are those people who will pose questions or comments that are meant to do nothing more then tear a person down and I dont think that is right either. But I think that is where a lot of people who end up on MWOP sites get there because they feel that they are not heard and will find a place where they can be heard. In my opinion that is a creation of the blogger and they should take some accountability for that. None of this 'you misunderstood' crap when you see it right there in black and white.
Hope that makes sense.
Maybe that is one of the things I would like to see with more bloggers. An honest read. And by that I mean let the not so wonderful comments through. Let people see that you are real and that the other readers are real and that if you ask a question of something it can be discussed and answered. Too often a lot of these different bloggers only want to post the positive, which I can get, but then it really does make them appear to be less real and much larger then life.
Shannon:
I AGREE 100%
I have really tried to be like this an allow the negative post to stay...look at all the ugly things I have allowed to be posted about me...it is hard to have these things appear on your own blog but hopefully people can see it is an attempt to show people I value everyones opinion.
Now it took me a few years of blogging to get to that point. I wasn't always that way and I still will delete comments that are ugly about my family or posts that call me a bitch...LOL
I have another thing that bothers me about some bloggers..
The bloggers that are so concerned with the number of followers they have. I read a blog the other day..(not one I normally read) and the woman was griping cause she lost a few followers. I believe some think the volume of followers is a reflection of their value in the blogging world. This blogger even said something about "now that my kid is better I lose some followers" or something like that???
Batman, I like your husband. ;-)
You know, I've never minded any intolerant or nasty comments on my blog. In fact, I've always been a little shocked at how few I've gotten, considering how much a handful of people dislike me. Lol, I always look at it as an opportunity to either learn something new or make them look like a fool, either way, I win. :-) But, I'd not feel okay doing that to someone else...they might *not be okay with it.
I had an actual friend who would get angry, downright pissed, when she didn't get many comments on her blog. From there she'd have full-fledged temper tantrums, threatening to shut her blog down if comments didn't pick up. I stopped commenting altogether. In addition, she did/does something else I dislike...she posts on every damn forum or blog she can find, not because it interests her but to try to get people to read her boring-ass blog. And comment, of course. Some people just take it all way too seriously.
Music on blogs usually scares the ever-loving shit out of me. I actually do like a music option of the blogger's favorite music, but only if I can choose to turn it on.
Kate,
Is one of the blogs you're talking about "profoundly seth"? She got pregnant with her 6th (5th living) child after her husband left?
Anon 7:52,
Yep. Although I have to clarify that I love, love, love her. Probably the only blog about which I could not find a single bad thing to say or think.
She let's comments stand as they are, I know, but she has basically taken all personal details out of her blog. Kind of what I was talking about...
Kate, I have to know who else you are talking about in the blog world that did those things. I knew you were talking about Ellyn (I love her blog too). I am not a crazy person who leaves bad comments on people's blogs, I am just nosy. Ha!!
I get slightly irritated by bloggers who bait you with a guessing game and then don't blog about it for days and days.
I love Ellen too! I'm the one who was asking Kate :) She seems so down to earth & truly just wanting the best for her kids! OMG! The kids.....beautiful! Feel bad for her & wonder what truly is going on with her "situation" but completely respect the fact that she's needing to keep it private for now! I do wonder if her ex has meet her newest most precious baby? Little things like that is what I would like to know.......Oh well, I wish her all the best!
Ann,
- Ellyn was kind of a given, eh? I'm with you on the nosy part, which is why I'm bummed that El has completely done the right thing & toned down any intimate aspect of her blog. I just wish we'd still hear about the 'other side', you know?
- Ok, the submission one is obviously JM.
- The 23 y/o who married a widower within the same year that his wife died of an accident? Kami (former JM friend, her neighbor at the lake house of 'My beautiful day'.) That's one blog I will never return to, because I want to scream at her for every blog entry she does.
- Last one is the blog that brought me into the whole mommy blogger 'scene'. Couple marries, has ectopic pregnancy, twin miscarriage (due to incompetent uterus) after IVF, expects sextuplets, refuses to reduce, begs for handouts, hints at reality show, etc. Blog was unmoderated long after the premature delivery, when one baby after the other 'joined the lord'. Yet every friendly advice of NICU nurses, moms, mulitple moms, preemie moms got deleted. They knew best. Left town a few times (for funerals, etc.) while their babies were barely hanging in there. And then came the visit to Disneyland. Keep in mind, the only kids they had still on earth were not able to come with them. Quality time for the exhausted parents! We were watching it from a seperate message board, kindly like MWoP, only funny, as no slightly dissenting question or comment would stay.
Try to stay calm when the remaining babies were diagnosed as blind, deaf, etc. and described as 'such fiesty (sic) troopers!' at the 'Stansel journey'.
Hah, Anon 9:52,
Don't get me wrong, I respect her taking it more privately as well. It's the exact perfect balance between allowing blog readers to chime in and not feeding them details that might rile them up!
Her conduct after the divorce alone isn't anything I could have gracefully managed (waitressing at night while getting a degree while being evicted from her home). And that's before you throw in any kids. Let alone the Eli & Seth complications. Let alone her high risk pregnancies. That woman truely is my hero, seriously.
And when people volunteered to donate she nicely declined and said there were people in more need for help. Unbelievable.
She's one example of inner beauty shown on the outside.
Lauren, this is a great post! I have been critical of this blog and you because it seemed hypocritical to me, to call out others for bitching about JM while the same thing is happening here.
But... I will absolutely give credit when I feel it's due. I think this is a great topic to discuss, and maybe a bit of cautionary info for anyone hoping to become the latest, greatest mommy blogger.
My input on the subject: yes to many of the things above, especially the begging for me. I don't know what bugs me more - when it's blatant such as some of the examples cited, or when it's in the form of repeated hints about needing/wanting/losing things.
What really boggles my mind is the very private, intimate details people will share about their children. I've seen many bloggers say that their husband/sister/older child won't let them talk about their personal stuff on the blog, yet it's routine for parents to share all sorts of things about their minor children. It seems very wrong. These kids don't even know their privacy is being invaded!
I'm all for parents sharing info and advice about various things, but the one person who I think crosses the line - repeatedly - is MckMama. There was absolutely no reason for her to share that her older children were inserting fingers into Baby Stellan's rectum. (And there are more examples similar to that!)
The internet is a funny place - it's so easy to feel like you're talking to a group of girlfriends when in reality you're talking to every single person with an internet connection.
I also get tired of the way some bloggers seem want it both ways: they want to be treated as (and paid the same as) journalists and professional writers, yet balk at any criticism about content, grammar, structure, etc.
I keep thinking of other things I could add, but I don't want to take up the whole page...
Again - thanks, Lauren! Great topic.
LTDAS
Oops - that should say begging for money.
If I register for Blogger will there will be a way to edit comments that are already posted?
LTDAS
I don't like bloggers that solicit money for adoptions, but Lisa, as an adoptive mom and an adoptee, I am insulted by your statement that adopting is buying yourself a baby.
FL
I agree with the playlists on blogs.
Kate - I don't agree, I don't think bloggers (even if they have ads) should be fair game to every judgmental person out there. If you want to compare blogs to businesses, same thing, would you keep going into a business that sells a product you hate? I don't keep going into stores that I don't like either. I might write them a letter but I would take my business elsewhere.
That is what seems so crazy to me; if you don't like the product, why do you keep buying it over and over and over again? Turn the channel, read a different blog or whatever.
Think about this, if you bought a shirt at Old Navy and didn't like it (fell apart or whatever), how many people would do more than try and return the shirt or write a letter? How many people would form a Old Navy without pity board to complain about the merchandise? How many people would read through the Old Navy blog each day looking for inferior products? How many people would contact the suppliers of Old Navy?
It isn't jealousy as some claim, it is an addiction or an obsession. And bloggers are pretty easy targets, but should they be? I say no.
Shannon,
Why do you want to see that? I look at blogs as short fiction or entertainment, not real factual life. I have enough real life living my own, lol.
Anonwalker,
I like bloggers that arent afraid to be real and human like I am. I live those who can recognize that they have faults and arent perfect. I like the ones who can roll with the punches and arent afraid of comments that dont blow sunshine in their butts.
Anonwalker,
I don't think the comparison fits. I think of it more as I like the products and don't want to stop shopping there but the staff is really rude. Would I stop buying there? No. Would I try to voice my opinion that they're rude? Maybe. If I'm still being ignored, would I take it to the next level (complaining to manager, being equally rude, etc.)? That's what most people do, I guess.
LTDAS
Thanks..glad you are enjoying but actually another reader gave the suggestion and I just supplied the post...I think it was a great idea and thanks to the person who suggested it..sorry but it was an anon comment so I can't name your name..
Anonwalker, I get what you're saying. But I agree with Kate, it's not a great comparison.
But let's say it *is like buying a shirt that falls apart. What if you found out the maker of the shirt was exploiting their workers, or lying about the origins of the shirt. Would you still just walk away, or would you report them to the authorities? Would you warn other shoppers that maybe things aren't as they seem?
I also don't agree that bloggers are "fair game to every judgmental person out there". It's been my experience that the ones who overshare, and don't make clear boundaries for what is and isn't fair game, are the ones who have issues with people asking them for more and more info. Just as in face-to-face communication, we give cues to other people about how much we're willing to share. And many bloggers try to wear the mantle of being open and brutally honest, share (in my opinion) inappropriate things, and then cry foul when people start asking personal questions. There will always be rude and inappropriate readers, but why would they think they aren't welcome on a blog if the writer of said blog acts the same way?
I do agree that we should view most blogs as fiction. But then most bloggers need to stop claiming that they're being honest and bold and open.
In my mind, it all goes back to this: they can't have it both ways.
LTDAS
Shannon - On one hand I agree, but on the other the behavior that I see on the internet in the form of comments are not a factual representation of my life or anyone I know. Even my best of friends don't ask me such personal questions about my finances, as one example, I can't imagine a total stranger asking me the same! The comments are just as fictional as the blogs themselves.
Kate - Yes I would stop buying there, to me service is part of the product. I don't shop in a certain department store and a few restaurants because of the service.
Take Walmart for example; I don't normally go there because of service, quality of product and so forth but sometimes I go there. I know going in what to expect, so what would be the point of getting frustrated when I know what to expect? Nothing I could possibly say to Walmart would make them change to how I think they should run their store, it's their store and while I am a customer, they please the masses and I am not one of the many.
LTDAS - I get what you are saying too and as bad as it sounds, no I would just put the shirt in the rag bin and chalk it up to, should have known better. Take Walmart again as an example; everyone knows the troubles they have with your exact example and while I work to not support the empire that is WalMart, sometimes I do. But you don't catch me complaining about it after the fact.
I think open and honest are great, I'm open and honest with my friends, irl but I also wouldn't answer a personal question from them if I didn't think it was any of their business. You can have it both ways, most people have it both ways in their lives, people are just more respectful in person than they are in comments.
I just wanted to also say this is a great discussion and while we all have different viewpoints it's really nice to see an adult conversation and not an elementary school playground battle.
Thank you all.
Anonwalker,
Totally agree on the discussion here.
And while I see what you're saying w/ the shopping example, I still don't like the comparison.
In general I think bloggers want my clicks even more than Walmart wants my business. On a way more personal level, because getting me to personally care is what will bring me back. Otherwise I'd just get on the mailinglist of all OshKosh, Mini Boden, Baby Gap, etc. cateloges.
I didn't mean to imply that as soon as they've got ads they're fair game. It's the whole personal being invested that the bloggers have to instill in their readers that they then can't understand.
More like you've found a favorite hairdresser who gets your hair just right. And as soon as it's clear that you keep returning for this person you're not allowed to even ask why your hair would be cut before it's being washed. You still like the result, but you'd be much happier if they didn't threaten you with being banned from the salon just for that question.
And just to be clear, I'm talking strictly polite questions or advice here.
LTDAS - excellent points. I especially agree, it all boils down to: You can't have it both ways.
Lets see if my phone will cooperate lol.
Anonwalker while I do agree I think that there are some bloggers who offer advice on things and then it is found that they really shouldn't be offering it they open themselves up.
For example jm talked about how she made her marriage work by submitting to her husband. Then someone found thw dv stuff. Now that could be a dangerous situation to spmeone in a bad marriage. Or offering financial advicewhile losing a second home.
.
Ack, I posted this on the deleting comments post. Meant to post it here.
Directly from a commenter on MWOP.
"iamyobb
I took a run by their house this morning. The RV is there, kids in the yard, some random lady who was doing some gardening/yard work, so sign of either parent.
This does not point out the inconsistencies of Mckmama.
This is STALKING Mckmama.
Tempi.
I don't understand why some of them are all suddenly worshiping JM's husband? Of course he should be looking out for the kids. They are his kids, and he is not working. Why feel sorry for him?? If it were the other way around, no one would say a word.
I think that's what I'd like to see changed in the blogs in general. I would like to see that men and women are becoming more and more equal and that discussions about house work and marriage focus on fighting some of the sexism that has pervaded our culture. With JM's submissive stuff and other bloggers simply saying "men will be men," it seems we are putting women back a few decades...sure, talk about how your husband, SO, etc. are not doing this or that, because perhaps we can all relate. But we should also talk about how we can change some of that.
"I don't like bloggers that solicit money for adoptions, but Lisa, as an adoptive mom and an adoptee, I am insulted by your statement that adopting is buying yourself a baby."
You can be insulted all day long, but it is what it is. Just because I'm blunt in how I phrase it doesn't make it less so. Look, I think adoption is a *wonderful* thing, truly, regardless of how one does it. What you've done in adopting a child puts you waaaay up at the top of my "amazing people" list, so you know and I don't even have to know you to know that. It's just such a special thing for both the parent and the child. I'm not passing judgement on anyone who spends that kind of money on adoption...it's (generic) your money, spend it how you like. At least it's being spent on something beyond beautiful and lifelong, but in the end, it's still buying a baby.
"This is STALKING Mckmama."
Hmmm...see, I admit, I'd probably do this if I didn't have to go far out of my way. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't view a one time pass-by to get a look as stalking. Now, if she starts doing it daily, or parking down the road and slipping in to look in their windows, that's different. Or maybe I just have a more open mind about stalking. ;-)
Lisa,
Yes, I may be a bit close minded in those regards, I think if you are purposely driving by someones home, going out of your way, then yea its stalking, But I've been in a stalking situation before, so I would tend to err on the side of caution.
Even if its not stalking per say, it is creepy. Very Creepy to me.
Tempi
Giving advice..... especially marriage advice, to find out later the husband has left wife & 5 kids and has a girlfriend. The arrogance of giving such advice is what boggles me. I think I have a fairly decent marriage, however I realize to think "never say never" and what might work for my marriage most certainly would not work for others...... I appreciate bloggers honesty when it comes to the hard stuff and even what their thoughts are on why the marriage didn't work etc...but to preach like everything is ok and to do what they do and how they know everything, I find that to be very arrogant.
Tempi, if I'd ever actually been stalked by anyone, I'd probably feel as you do, too. As it is, if anyone wants to swing by my house and post about it, go for it. I'm not bothered by just that. I'm a people watcher; people fascinate me so I just assume there are a lot of people like me...harmless, but nosy. :-)
Kate & Shannon - I do see both of your points, but again the choice is yours to walk away if you don't like the service or the entertainment. To stick around despite hating the product I think is just a wee bit obsessive, wouldn't you agree?
I don't understand why people think that bloggers are any different than anyone or anything else that has ad revenue. Don't like it, then turn it off. It is that simple.
It reminds me of high school and driving by cute boys houses to see if they were home and hoping to run into them on "accident".
I'm a people watcher as well, but I haven't driven or jogged by someone's house (and then reported the findings!) since well, high school.
And let's not forget, most people can't resist a good trainwreck, myself included.
I'm a little torn though on the whole drive by their house and describe the findings in detail on a blog with the sole purpose of badmouthing them.
Calling the hospital goes way too far, IMO.
What I don't understand is, if so many of them live so close by, why can't they go get those darn foreclosure papers in person? Cathy had offered to do so weeks ago. After all this energy they put into monitoring their whereabouts, why not clear this one up once and for all?
Anonwalker,
I think that's where we won't agree with each other. Blogs that annoy the living daylights out of me I never visit again = hating the product.
It get's difficult when I love the product and know it's one of a kind, but the packaging sucks. At the same time the manufacturer includes a survey for feedback. Do I not use it?
Oh yea, good point and that is part of why I'm so fascinated by mwop and the other with out pity sites. It seems like they are always on the verge of imploding again.
I think the reporting on the findings is a bit over the edge and creating a new user name for that purpose. How many now is that that have posted "sightings" and then disappeared again?
I don't get why they wouldn't go in person either.
Kate,
I agree about not visiting websites; I have a number of them I'm sure tons of people love that I simply can't stand and don't visit anymore.
I agree use the feedback form, but if it doesn't change to your sanctification do you keep filling it out claiming that they should change?
My example would be Pioneer Woman, PW. I loved the product, now the packaging sucks and of course she still has comments open but doesn't allow negative ones through. I've commented, in a polite and respectful tone but they haven't been posted. My guess is that she doesn't want negative comments, so why would I keep filling out the form over and over again when my viewpoint is clearly not what she wants?
I do check every now and then to see if PW has returned but there is still someone strange posting in her place. It's sad really, it used to be such a great blog.
Anonwalker,
(To be honest, in 98% I can't even be bothered to fill out the survey.) No, of course I would not continue to fill it out. But I might be inclined to google the product and see if I can't find likeminded people if after the initial feedback I provided them with I am only able to buy the product with the survey CUT OUT of the packaging - just for me.
Can't say much to PW, I always go directly to the cooking. I do admire your loyalty though, if she deleted your polite and respectful comments. That would probably tick me off too much to give her further clicks.
"I'm a people watcher as well, but I haven't driven or jogged by someone's house (and then reported the findings!) since well, high school."
Oh, sure, it's juvenile, but from time to time I still embrace my 12 year old self without shame. ;-) I'm with Kate, though, in that I'd not call the hospital...not sure why, exactly, but that does feel like crossing a line. And I do agree with AW about creating new names to report said findings, then disappearing. That is the part that strikes me a bit creepy, now that I think about it. If I'm going to do a drive-by, I'll report it as me.
Hm.
There was EBY who caught a lot of flack for reporting her MCK-watch.
Joan5 changed her name but didn't disappear.
Kimintexas got a tweet from JM and then disappeared, probably with good reason. JM said her report was full of lies and Kim deleted all her posts and her account.
Dreamalittledream only tried to drive by and hasn't stopped commenting.
The RV sighting in Denver I strongly suspect was Shell (like Lauren suggested). I can see why that would have been embarrassing for her.
Leaves sassysarah and iamyobb who so far have not disappeared. Am I missing someone?
What is the point of telling people you will no longer be commenting on a blog, but then a few weeks or even days later, you come back and comment again? I just don't get that. I noticed that happens "alot alot" on MWOP.
It just seems very dramatic and silly.
Anon 4:00,
What is the difficulty in inventing a simple name/letter/sign for a post?
Not attacking specifically you but everybody who takes the time to select the profile 'Anonymous' but can't end a post with simply 'Sue'.
My opinion to your question? If you want to protest against something/somebody I understand that you tell everybody that you're leaving and why. (The more to do so the better.)
However, if you continue reading all the time anyway and at some point can't fight the urge to add your own speshul comments anymore - you fail at innerwebz.
Everybody who leaves with grand fanfare should be forced to come back with grand apologies as well.
And that would include 'I never wanted to leave, just be begged to stay more'. 'I hoped more people would care', etc.
But at least those who return with their original names (and aren't just too inept to invent new ones) make things easier.
Of course I still point and laugh.
Wow Kate. Calm down it's not all that serious. No one said it was difficult to add a name. Mistakes happen, so sue me!
Simply 'Sue'
My opinion is the drive by in Denver wasn't Shell. The *only thing she has been consistent about is her opinion she doesn't approve of stalking Jennifer. If you look back she has commented with disapproval after *every "sighting." My guess is that is the MWOPer who publicly admitted to trying to book a photo shoot with Jennifer while she was in Denver. However if we want to be like MWOP we should continue to speculate wildly with zero proof what so ever.
This is kind of a weird thread. If there is something you don't like on a blog then why do you continue to read? That asked, I'll admit to deleting from my bookmarks anyone that makes me listen to music by visiting their blog. While my employer allows a "reasonable" amount of personal internet usage, I don't think the whole office needs to know when I'm doing it.
Sara Jane
Anyone watch the show on mwop this evening? Of course the antics are being blamed on Jen, but it was some funny crapbwatching them get upset when their comments were disappearing.
Anon 8:17,
You might want to start using a name when you comment here. Please read the 5:06 comment by the HBIC, I mean Kate.
Simply 'Sue'
Simply Sue,
Please accept my apologies for being too harsh.
Like said, it wasn't meant to attack you.
It's just that sometimes there are 10 anons in a row and it gets annoying to scroll up to the ones you want to reply to/others have replied to.
Again, sorry. Politeness is not my middle name.
And thanks for making me laugh.
Sara Jane,
Sorry for the threadjack.
But while we're at it...which MWoPer admitted publicly to want to book JM in Denver? completely missed that.
Didn't mean to speculate wildly. Lauren at one point asked if we thought that was possibly Shell and I went and checked through the activities of the commenter that created that temp page for the RV pics.
Said commenter wasn't active long and only made very few comments. 8 times out of 10 it was either a reply to Shell, liking Shell's comment or making a comment which Shell immediately liked or replied to. As if somebody was switching back and forth between accounts. And then the commenter disappeared entirely.
That's why I said 'I suspect'.
Anonwalker,
I see what you're saying about never returning to a blog you don't like. I will disagree with the just throwing damaged goods in the rag bag and walking away.
Here's what I don't get, though: why are you here? I'm not being bitchy or snarky, I'm asking in all sincerity. You clearly dislike MWOP, yet it seems you still read it. Why? If you're so dispassionate about it, why be involved at all?
Simply Sue, can I call you 'Sweet' Sue instead? 8)
LTDAS
It's almost time for me to hit the sack but I just wanted to share this thought with everyone who reads here.
You know, I used to read Mck and OHIH and MWOP and here and there. Sometimes participating, in the last year mostly lurking. Everyone has their thoughts and opinions and two cents. I certainly did too. I've shared some of my thoughts here as an Anon; not really caring too much about the goings on in the mommy blog world.
Today my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer with possible mets to the liver. I was there with her when she got the news. She is healthier than me, more active than me and is a single mom to two girls under 18.
I can't complain now. Life hit me in the gut and it knocked the wind out of my sails. I'm numb. She's my best friend. We have another week of uncertainty and still hope and pray that it's not as serious as it might seem right now.
It's just a reminder that life is to be lived and if we can make one person's life happy, a kind act here or there then the world will be a better place when we leave it.
That's really all I have to say. I pray for everyone on all these chat boards that they find peace IRL and not waste too much time in the nonsense of the online world.
Anon 10:47
Trying to find the grace in your sister's situation. The only blessing I can see is that you were there with her. You provided her a rock to cling to. That is an amazing gift.
I will pray for you and your family as you deal with the uncertainty. May God lift you and hold as He heals your sister. Please check in and update as you're able.
Peace be with you.
Sara Jane
Anon 10:47, Your sister is in my prayers. My good friends husband is going through chemo for both liver and colon right now, I know it's rough.
Kate - I used to love PW's cooking but something started to change and now it's just down right horrible or copied from an old cookbook. Check out Marlboro Woman for the details on the recipes.
When I think of the emotional attachment/investment that people say they have to blogs it reminds me of stereotype of woman being over involved with soap operas back in the day.
The changing of names or vanishing after a JM sighting is something I find interesting.
Sara Jane,
I continue to read blogs that have things that bother me because in the whole I like them. The one or two things don't bother me enough to not read but if they did, you can be sure that I would just not read.
LTDAS,
I don't dislike mwop, as I have said in the past I find it a fascinating train wreck to watch. It is my version of people watching on the net and the behaviors would make an excellent case study of human behavior if I was in the field.
Anon 10.47,
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, I will keep her in my prayers.
Anon 10:47 I hope that you and your sister are able to receive better news as you wait. Hopefully if there is confirmed cancer it is at a point that they can take care of it quickly and with as little stress on her. I am not a pray-er but I will keep you all in my thoughts.
I dont actually hate anyone or anysite. I may get frustrated with things and I do want to be able to express my frustrations with others who feel the same way. There have certainly been a few blogs I have read when someone has posted a link that I just know that I could not become a regular reader of.
Anon 10:47, what sad, sad news...your sister and you will be in my prayers, as will her girls. I truly hope next week brings good news to you all.
About the only blog I honestly can't stand is PW, which is why I haven't read it in ages. And "live" (on TV), she's even more annoying. So, I'm curious and hope Tina doesn't mind me asking, but does anyone have any guilty pleasure blogs you probably shouldn't like, or admit to liking, but do anyway. I get the biggest kick out of Zsuzsanna over at ALL THEY ALL YOURS?!??
Anon 10:47
I am so sorry.
I'm sending prayers towards your family for peace and comfort during this difficult time.
So glad you were with your sister during this terrible news, I'm sure that meant the world to her. Praying for the news to be good and your sister will be cured of this terrible disease.
Since Lisa asked - and if Lauren doesn't mind us discussing it - I have a few guilty pleasure blogs I am fascinated with. Anna Matrix (a Xanga blog). She is nuts. She predicts the end of time about once a month from what I can tell.
And (OMG I hate to even admit I look at this stuff) there are these forums by women who are into the "Christian Domestic Discipline" lifestyle. If you don't know that that is - trust me you don't want to know! lol If you do, good grief what is wrong with people.
Carmen
My favorite blog that isnt really like a blog is cake wrecks. The husband and wife team that do that site are too dang funny and it surprises me how many hours I can waste going through everything and looking at all the cakes.
New here, but Lisa, Zsuzsana is a kick! She is so crazy that it makes me look like the poster for this years mental health awards. I do have to love how her husband is always in some weird law screw up, and how she claims God loves everyone, you just have to accept Him and you will be with him always. Then she goes on to say that "fags" (which I am one!) are all going to hell and she would move if one of "them" moved in next door.
A bundle of contradictions, that is our 'Zsana.
Aldie
Share away everyone...I always love to hear what everyone is reading and their thoughts...
Zsuzsana is one of those that I have a really hard time reading. Where y'all are finding her entertaining and such I just get angry at her LOL
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